There’s nothing I hate more than not knowing what’s next. In my life, waiting is the worst kind of evil and patience is its evil side-kick set out with a mission to sabotage my mind with a million ‘what-if’ tragic scenarios, which could be easily remedied if I just knew what was going to happen! I’m only half joking. If you’re like me and have set some decently lofty goals for yourself, you know how daunting it can be to deal with uncertainty. None of us know what’s going to happen tomorrow or the day after. We don’t know what excruciatingly painful obstacles we may face or if we’ll be able to reach our goals at all. We don’t know if we’ll reach as high as the standards we set in place or if we’ll become what we so desperately in our heart of hearts want to become and that’s a scary thought. To think that something beyond our control could possibly come in like wrecking ball and destroy our proverbial neatly piled jenga pieces is one of the scariest aspects of our lives.
I am particularly susceptible to anxiety caused by uncertainty because my asshole brain has a particular proclivity for reminding me of all the things I haven’t done and questioning whether any of them will ever get done. It’s downright cruel and has helped lead me down the deep dark path to depression in the past. The never ending barrage of uncertainties and doubts has driven me to abandon certain goals or settle for something lower simply out of fear of the unknown.
So can you make peace with uncertainty? Well, unfortunately for those of us control freaks there is a certain amount of letting go (do not sing it. Conceal don’t feel) that has to take place in order for peace to be gained. We have to let go of the illusory control we have over aspects of our lives that are completely out of our control. We must make peace with the fact that it may rain though we want it to snow, it may take months instead of days, or that we may end up with a peach instead of an orange. Finding our way in life is never straight forward.
There is no set path to finding your purpose; there is no cheat sheet to discovering your passions because we are simply matter in space with no direction till we give ourselves one. Everything in life is a mystery, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a plan. It just means we can’t cling to it for dear life. We have to accept that things won’t go our way and that our plans can still lead us to success but our path will more likely lead us through the woods, under a bridge and around a roundabout. I also find that it’s much easier to accept that nothing is certain and that we don’t know everything, and that’s okay!
It also important to realize that a lot of these fears are only in our heads. Circumstances aren’t set in place by nature to be malevolent towards you. Things just exist and situations just happen. Your mind, however, is the colored lense that places labels on the things around you without you even realizing. In other words, your mind is the engineer that places makes assessments of the world and places it’s own labels on things without you realizing it. So, yes, it’s all in your head. In reality, most of the time, these obstacles can be easily overcome with some brain power and elbow grease, but our mind has made us think that these are much tougher issues than they are, so we’re stricken with dread. So do yourself a favor and don’t dwell on possible challenges as hardships but as a way of growing. Part of our personal development comes from being able to use any unforeseen circumstances as a learning tool.